Ike's Cooking Show
by BlackRoseSpirit
Summary: What happens when you throw Ike, Ike's sword and a kitchen into a bowl and mix them up? You get absolute chaos. But what can possibly go wrong? Mentions of injury and minor blood.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCALIMER:NONE OF THE CHARACTERS BELONG TO ME, ALL OF THE CHARACTERS MENTIONED IN THIS CHAPTER BELONG TO NINTENDO.**

Ike's Cooking Show

Chapter 1

It was a calm and quiet day at Smash Mansion, and most people were minding their own business, well, almost everyone. A certain blue-haired mercenary, by the name of Ike Greil, was currently preparing to air, the first episode of his brand-new cooking show, live, for the whole mansion to see. Everything was less than calm, in fact you could say that everything was rather hectic.

_**Smash Mansion: Main Hall: 13:00: 5 minutes until (scheduled) airing.**_

"KIRBY DO NOT EAT THE FRIDGE-**CRASH!**\- NOPE NOT THAT EITHER! KIRBY GET BACK HERE!"Ike was at the end of his tether, in 3 minutes his destiny of stardom was going to go up in smoke, or should one say down into Kirby's stomach? Either way, there was absolutely no chance of this day being ruined, it was going to be the day for once, he SUCCEDED! Although, success comes with trial and error, and for Ike it was an extra helping of trial soup and error soufflé.

"IKE GREIL, I AM NOT DONE WITH YOU GET BACK HERE!" screamed an impatient Princess Peach whom was currently chasing Ike with hairspray in one hand and a comb in the other, Ike had spent the last 15 minutes chasing Kirby and he not ready to go live.

"Guys 1 minute until we go live-AAAAARGH!" Toon Link screamed as Ike's sword narrowly missed his precious hat.

"TOON LINK GET THAT PINK BALL UNDER CONTROL," Ike screamed as he was dragged away, Peach had her dainty had latched onto his ear "PEACH LET GO OF ME!"

"Absolutely not." was Peach's curt and direct reply.

After another minute everything was, by a miracle, ready.

_**-Smash Mansion : Main Hall 13:05 'Ike's Cooking Show' is now live on air.**_

Ness flicked through the channels searching for the channel where Ike's show would be on with Lucas beside him.

"Oh come on! When is this awful title sequence going to be over?" sighed Ness in an exasperated voice.

" Ike is going to make a fool of himself, again." said Lucas. Olimar, Popo, Nana, Dark Toon Link and Link walked in, everyone but Link grabbed a cushion and sat on the large leather couch filling in the remaining space, Link plopped himself into an armchair and rested his head on his chin.

Finally the title sequence ended and the show began.

_"Hello all and welcome to my cooking show," greeted Ike " I'm here to show you how to cook, but first let's go over a few basics for this first episode shall we? First of all remember, always wash your hands before you start"_

_Ike washed his hands before continuing._

_"Now, younger residents of smash mansion, you must be careful with sharp knives, you know, they're very dangerous."_

_Ike held up a large cooking knife with a pointed end, gestured to it and accidentally pricked his finger, he pretended to brush it off and put the knife down, while attempting to discreetly hide the fact that his finger was now bleeding. Unfortunately for Ike he could not stop the small blood flow and panic was written all over his faux smiling face._

_"Ahem, excuse me" Ike casually excused himself and came back on camera with a plaster."As you can see you must be careful with knives. "Moving on, remember, be careful with ovens and fire, always get an adult to supervise you if you need to use an oven"_

"What?! Seriously?! I use PK Fire, is that not clear Ike?! You numbskull." Exclaimed Ness. Lucas looked at Ike as if he was a worm in a perfect apple.

_Ike turned on the hob and without thinking put his hand too close to the flame, 'twas a pity because Ike is not fireproof, Ike's hand caught fire and _Ike ran off stage in a panic. _Toon Link suddenly walked on and started tap dancing on the counter in front of the camera. You could hear screaming in the background "DON'T SET THE STUDIO ON FIRE!"_

_"GET THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER!"_

_" BE PATIENT LADY!"_

_"DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT YOU NUT!"_

_"JUST PUT MY HAND OUT!"_

_"I have a right mind not to now."_

_"GIMME THAT- AAAAaaaaaahhhhhhhhh"_

_" Hold still..."_

_"GEEZ WHO TAUGHT YOU FIRST AID?!"_

_"WELL, EXCUSE ME! IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE SO RUDE DO IT YOURSLEF"_

_" BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW!"_

_"MARIOOOO, IKE'S BEING MEAN TO ME" _

_"Ike how-a dare you be-a mean to my Princess!" *Mario fireball sfx*_

_"AAAAAAARGH YOU CRAZY MORON!"_

_"That's-a Mario to you."_

"Looks like this'll be an interesting T.V series" observed Link

"Yup" replied everyone else in unison.

**Soooo, yeah I don't have much to say but I'm quite proud of this :). There will be more. Just so you know;**

**Bold: Information or authors note**

_Italics: Ike's show_

Regular text: Whatever is not being displayed on the T.V

**Also please do not follow this story to actually use for cooking (just putting that warning up in case)**

**Constructive criticism is welcome.**


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: NONE OF THE MENTIONED CHARACTERS BELONG TO ME!**

Ike's Cooking Show

Chapter 2:

Ike walked through the halls of Smash Mansion, the first episode of his show the day prior had not gone too well. His hand now had a bandage on it and his finger held a plaster, Dr. Mario told him to lay off his "kitchen stunts," for a while. Harrumph. No way, another episode would be aired live for the whole mansion to see in a few hours and he had to make it to studio on time, Ike looked at his watch, it read '11:45.' He kept casually walking down the hall until he remembered his watch was, and had always been, an hour slow. Ike took off running and narrowly missed Luigi, who was mopping.

**-Smash Mansion: Main Hall: 13:01, 4 minutes until airing**

Tap-tap-tap-tap

Peach tapped her foot impatiently, being a make-up artist for Ike was not going to be easy, she had only remembered how bad at being-on-time Ike was, after she agreed to be his make-up artist. Anyway she was about to lose all will to be patient.

SLAM!- The doors flew open and Ike walked in, with the look at his face that said 'I'm here, now where's my coffee?' he looked like one of those people in the movies who expected to walk through the studio and on set, getting all glamorous for the camera in the process (no offence to anyone). Unfortunately, he was met with a hairspray can to the face instead.

"WHERE IN THE NAME OF MASTER HAND WERE YOU?!" screeched Peach."I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT YOU NEED TO BE ON SET IN 3 MINUTES!" Peach grabbed the collar of Ike's top and dragged him to his dressing room.

"I wonder what Ike's going to do in today's episode?" pondered Ness

"Yeah, remember yesterday when Toon Link started tap dancing?" replied Lucas

"Yeah," said Ness

"When did he learn to do that?" asked Lucas

"Why are you asking me? I don't know when he would've had time to do that, I mean, he spends most of his free time chasing the pigs in the courtyard screaming, and I quote, 'Come back! Please! Can we be friends? I know that we were meant to be soul mates!" exclaimed Ness. Ness and Lucas entered the 'T.V and Gaming Room,' Ness was quick to grab a comfy spot on the large couch, followed by Lucas. Ness picked up the remote and turned on the T.V.. Olimar and his main pikmin Steve, Popo, Nana, Kirby and Link walked in, all but Kirby resumed to sit in the same place as yesterday, Kirby sat on a cushion somewhere in the middle of between the couch and the T.V.

**-Smash Mansion: Main Hall- 13:04, 1 minute until airing.**

" Ok guys are you all ready?"

Muffled shouts from the dressing room."NO IKE IS NOT READY-HOLD STILL!"

"NO, MY FANS ARE WAITING!"

"WHAT FANS?"

Ike burst out of his dressing room and ran onto set.

"3,2,1 now going live" stated Toon Link.

_"Hello everyone and welcome to Ike's cooking show where I, Ike, will show you how to cook. Today we will be cooking an English breakfast"_

_Ike washed his hands and put in an apron, which sported a large print of his face._

_"So first you want to make sure you have all your ingredients."_

_Ike gestured to the ingredients which had been neatly laid out for him on the counter._

_"Ok let's start by washing the fresh tomatoes,"_

_Ike proceeded to wash the tomatoes until he realised one of them had a patch of mould. If there was one thing Ike would not and could not tolerate it was mould._

_"AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH- WHO PUT THIS HERE?!" screamed a disgusted Ike. If you listened closely you could hear quiet snickering. Suddenly, Ike pulled out his sword and threw it at the camera. An 'OOF!' and the camera spun around a few times and finally stopped to show a knocked-over Toon Link. The camera was then righted by Ike and Ike ran back to behind the counter_

_"Anyway as I was saying, wash your tomatoes, now put a griddle on a high heat and proceed to grill your to tomatoes"_

_Ike put the tomatoes on the grill pan._

_"Now let's fry some eggs while the tomatoes are grilling. First put your pan on the hob and turn it on to high heat. Now crack your eggs, and fry!"_

_As Ike was putting the eggs on the pan Toon Link was gesturing madly for Ike to put some oil or at least butter on the pan, all attempts failed as the smell of smoke filled the air, smoke, smoke, smoky, smoke._

_"SMOOOOKEEEE!" _

_Toon Link jumped into action grabbed a fire extinguisher from the 100 he had bought earlier! You know, just to be safe. Toon Link sprayed foam from the fire extinguisher on to the tomatoes, which were blacker than black if that's even possible._

_"TOON LINK GET OFF MY SHOW!"_

_"DO YOU WANT YOUR 'DESTINY' TO GO UP IN FLAMES?!"_

_"NO!"_

_" THEN BE QUIET AND LET ME GET ON WITH THINGS!"_

_Ike continued with his show after somehow acquiring a large fly swatter and swatting Toon Link flat._

_"Now all after your eggs look nice and golden (black) pop some beans into a pot and let them sit there, put your bacon onto the griddle along with some sausages. Wait for 20 seconds and presto. You have a nice English Breakfast. Don't forget the mushrooms!"_

_Ike took out a poisoned mushroom which he stole from the stockroom earlier. He plated up his food, which to be honest, looked more like ashes than food. Ike proceeded to consume his what-was-once-food and proceeded to try and act casual as the look of utter disgust came over his face. Suddenly, Ike shrank to be the size no smaller than a small, round, green pea. It was at that moment that the earlier swatted Toon Link popped up and swatted Ike with the fly swatter. Toon Link picked up Ike and flicked him into the sink, he then started to, again, tap dance on the counter. Another episode closed._

"WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!"

"YOU SWATTED ME WITH A FLY SWATTER!"

"Boys, boys calm down."

"NO!"

"Yes, Miss Peach"

"Good boy Toon Link, you can have extra dessert for being a good boy"

"WHAT YOU ARE KIDDING ME!"

"Nuh uh Ike, no dessert for you."

**Later that day.**

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Ness holding his stomach

"Remember when he found the mould on the tomato?" exclaimed a grinning Lucas.

"How could one forget?" replied Popo and Nana in unison.

"Poy! (so funny!)" cried Kirby

"Wow, Ike's not going to live this down" smirked Link with and evil glint in his eye.

**Ok sooo, another chapter finished guys, hope you enjoyed it!**


	3. Christmas Special

Ike's Cooking Show

**OH my gosh I'm so sorry I uploaded the same chapter twice by accident! Anyway here you go.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS MENTIONED, ALL CHARACTERS MENTIONED BELONG TO NINTENDO!**

**Also there are minor alchohol mentions in this chapter, please do not follow this story or guide to cooking to actually cook!**

Christmas Special

**Smash Mansion-Main Hall- 13:45- 15 minutes untill airing.**

"Ok, Ike, now make sure you don't let a single hair pop out of place, it's your Christmas Special, so it must be perfect!" stated Peach as she showered Ike in hairspray. Ike started coughing

"GO-cough- EASY ON THE HAIRSPRAY LAD-cough-Y!"

"Ike! Don't talk to me like that!" exclaimed Peach

"WELL DON'T SHOWER ME IN HAIRSPRAY, I'M NOT A GORILLA" shouted Ike

"I wouldn't be surprised if I found out that you were related to Donkey Kong, although I know for a fact that he's smarter than you sometimes, you numbskull" mumbled Peach under her breath. Ike glared at Peach in the mirror.

"Ike, I need you on set in 5 minutes" stated Toon Link popping his head in the door, he was wearing a green bobble hat.

"Ok, Short One." replied Ike. The sound of a door slamming rang through the room.

"Ooh, I can't wait!" exclaimed an evilly grinning Ness " I can sense the disaster waiting to happen."

"Uhuh, me too" replied Lucas, a small smile on his face. Everyone in the mansion was planning to watch the special, so a large T.V was set up in a meeting hall.

**-Smash Mansion-Main Hall-14:00- now going live**

"Ok, 3, 2, 1, going live" chimed Toon Link.

_Ike walked on set in a Santa hat, "Hello Everyone and Merry_ _Christmas! Welcome to my Christmas Special! Today, I am going to show you how to cook your turkey, and safely light your Christmas pudding."_

_Ike washed his hands and put on his apron, which still sported a large picture of him._

_"Now, since it's almost Christmas I've invited a special guest, so please, welcome, Roy!" exclaimed Ike as Roy walked in also sporting an apron with a large print of Ike's face on it._

_"Hello people!" shouted Roy._

_"Roy, I presume you brought the turkey?" asked Ike_

_"Turkey? How would I fit Turkey in here?" replied Roy dumbfounded_

_"Not that Turkey Roy, the Christmas turkey." murmured Ike through his teeth smiling at the camera while mentally facepalming._

_"Oh!" exclaimed Roy "No, I don't have a turkey." Ike's eye twitched._

_"Lucky I had one then, turkey please!" ordered Ike. Suddenly, a turkey came flying from the direction of the camera and landed on Ike's head, Ike, with difficulty, pulled the turkey off his head and put it on the counter, he aimed a glare to just above the camera._

_"Now, let's begin seasoning, I have salt, pepper, and some other seasonings"_

_Ike continued to season the turkey while Roy made stuffing with the giblets and some breadcrumbs. All was fine, for now anyway._

_"Now let's begin stuffing!" Ike began to gradually stuff the turkey, suddenly, he felt his watch come off._

_"Huh?" sounded Ike, he began to search through the stuffing that lay in the turkey, after being unsuccessful and now getting noticeably frustrated, Ike put his head in the turkey, and he successfully spotted watch, but as he tried to pull his head out he found himself stuck..._

_"ROY HELP ME!" yelped Ike in a panic, forgetting that he was on camera. Roy noticed what had happened and started laughing uncontrollably."ROY, HELP ME NOW!" screamed Ike, Roy grabbed on to the turkey, and tried to pull, still laughing uncontrollably, sadly since he was laughing so hard his arms failed him, so his attempt was pretty much worthless._

_Toon Link put a "Technical Difficulties" sign in front of the camera, so now only noise could be heard._

"IKE WHY DID YOU PHYSICALLY PUT YOUR FREAKING HEAD IN THE TURKEY?!" screamed two voices in unison, Roy's laughing was beginning to quell now.

"This turkey stole my watch!" accused Ike."It's a thief! Throw it in jail"

You could literally feel the aura of three facepalms radiating from behind the "Technical Difficulties," sign. Suddenly, the sound of a chainsaw was heard along with the sound of bones falling to the floor.

"TOON LINK , YOU ALMOST KILLED ME!" barked Ike

"Well I didn't" sneered Toon Link

"Ike, don't be so mean to Toon Link. You two are constantly fighting over little things, like chocolate milk, dessert, who did what first, how big your Christmas gifts are, etc." scolded Peach.

"Me and Toon Lin do not 'constantly fight over little things!'" exclaimed Ike.

"Toon Link and I," corrected peach

"Ummm guys, maybe we should get back to the show" commented Toon Link.

_Toon Link lifted the sign from the camera and the show continued._

_"Ok guys, sorry about that, how 'bout we leave the turkey for now eh? I'll show you what a Christmas turkey is meant to look like later, I'm gonna show you how to light the Christmas pudding safely next" explained Ike._

Ness and Lucas were still offended.

_"Ok now, I have pre-made a pudding so let's do this!" said Ike enthusiastically. Roy whipped out a large Christmas pudding, bottle of brandy and some matches, Roy poured the brandy over the pudding, some dripped off the plate while he was doing this, Ike then proceeded to light the pudding on fire. Unfortunateley since some of the brandy spilled off the plate the fire spread and suddenly the wooden counter top caught fire, the next thing you knew the whole set was on fire aswell as Ike's clothes and Christmas hat._

Toon Link turned off the camera and the screen went static. Ike's clothes were singed and were no longer presentable in any way.

"IKE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU FREAKING NUMBSKULL BURNT THE WHOLE SET!" screeched an enraged Princess Peach, Peach grabbed onto Ike's ear and dragged him into his dressing room, Peach shoved some clothes into Ike's arms "Here put these on."

"What?No! These are Shulk's!" sounded Ike, horrified.

"THE SHOW MUST GO ON!" hollered Peach "PUT. THEM. ON. NOW, IKEY-POO!" with a hint of evil in her voice as she left the changing room. With great reluctance Ike put the clothes on and walked out of his changing room.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH" laughed Roy and Toon Link.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY! THEY'RE JUST 3 SIZES TOO SMALL!" bellowed Ike.

"OK, NONE CARES, GET BACK ON SET." barked Peach

Toon Link turned the cameras back on.

_Ike walked on to the charred-black set._

_"Okey-dokey now that you've successfully lit your pudding and roasted your perfect-turkey let's wrap i-__**CRASH!**__"_

_"IIIKKKEEEE WHERE ARE MY SIGNATURE CLOTHES?" shouted Shulk, smashing the door and running in, in his underwear. Toon Link switched off the camera, ending the disasterous episode._

The whole mansion was laughing including Shulk, Peach, Roy and Toon Link. It was the funniest Christmas Eve one of the funniest days in the mansion that month.

**Ok guys, that's the Christmas Special done :) Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Oh yeah, and thanks for all the comments so far, please keep reviewing, it's nice hearing feedback from you. lames will be used to light the Christmas pudding.**


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS MENTIONED!**

**ALSO, NO INNOCENT FISH WERE HARMED.**

Ike's Cooking Show

Chapter 4: Party Food and an All You Can't Eat Buffet

**-Smash Mansion-Meeting Room 10:00**

"So, Pit, Dark Pit, Marth and Ganondorf you'll decorate the hall, NICELY. Zelda, Olimar Lucas and Ness you'll do invitations. Finally, Villager and Toon Link, can you sort out some entertainment?" ordered Peach as she scribble down lists of supplies for Samus to purchase. "The rest of you will keep Link distracted m'kay? Alright, if that's everything then- WAIT WHO'LL DO THE FOOD?!"

Ike's hand shot up from the back of the meeting room, he'd been planning what his next episode would be about.

"I CAN DO THE FOOD!" blurted Ike. Peach's expression changed to an 'anyone-but-Ike-willing-to-cook?' type of expression. An awkward silence filled the air, Toon Link attempted a cricket sound, but that only made the awkward silence worse.

"Awkward..." sang Toon Link in a high pitched tone.

...

"Well Ike...I guess you got the job..." sighed Peach hesitantly "Well if that's all then you're all dismissed."

The room was empty before you could say 'burnt banana split.'

Link was walking back from a long training session and wondered what was for dinner, as he was walking about 20 sheets of paper and a mug came falling from nowhere followed by a small foot stool and 10 pikmin. He landed on the ground with an '**OOF!**' as they all collided with his face.

"GAH! Sorry Link!" exclaimed Zelda from a balcony as she, Ness and Lucas tried to clumsily and frantically gather sheets of paper.

"Don't worry about it, I'm ok, besides what is this?" Link reached for one of the sheets, but as he did a purple pikmin jumped on his hand and snatched the sheet while the other pikmin gathered the rest.

"Olimar! Keep your pikmin under control!" scolded Zelda. Olimar nodded and summoned his pikmin back with the paper.

"Oh, well, ok then, I guess I'd better go now" announced Link as he continued walking. Zelda waved him goodbye before turning to Olimar.

"Olimar, I know you said Louie wanted hot chocolate, but you didn't tell me he gets a sugar rush that easily," chastised Zelda.

Link sweat-dropped as he kept walking.

"Huff...huff..huff...Ok that should be all of them," groaned Samus as she plopped down more bags, turning around, she was greeted with the (sarcasm) delightful sight of more bags, Samus made a sound somewhere between disgust and a groan.

Link sat down on the couch and turned on the T.V, casually waiting for the ads to be over so that he could watch Ike's Cooking Show.

**-Smash Mansion Gardens 13:00 (1:00 p.m)**

"Ok , Ike, you know what to do?" questioned Peach

"Mhm"

"You remember what I told you about kitchen safety?"

"Mhm"

"You aren't listening are you?"

"Mhm"

"Hey, there's a man giving away free hot pockets!" commented Peach

"WHAT? WHERE?!" barked Ike

"Anyway, Toon Link wants you." finished Peach

"IKE? IKE! Ike there you are!" panted Toon Link "I need you on set now."

Ike was filming his show outdoors today on a wooden deck, and he was doing a party special.

"3...2...1 going live" said Toon Link

_"Hello, and welcome to my cooking show! Today I'll be doing a guide to a perfect party buffet, as you probably know by now, my name is Ike. Now let's wash our hands first, and continue to put on our aprons." _

_Ike continued to wash his hands and tie his usual apron._

_"Now that that's over with, let's start to prepare some finger foods. First: Salmon on a cracker."_

_Ike pulled out a large salmon and his sword, he brought is sword down on the salmon but for whatever reason his sword rebounded, shot out of his hands and crashed through a shelf, stocked neatly with food and liquids, he looked at the fish and went to retrieve his sword. He tried again, with the same effect, only his sword didn't fly off._

_"Ahem, one second" mumbled Ike almost inaudibly. Ike threw his sword and came crashing down- "GREAT AETHER!" he bellowed as he hit the deck. __**CRASH! **__Suddenly, the floor gave way and Ike went crashing down through the wooden deck and down a suspicious hole. You could hear mad cackles from behind the camera view. Toon Link placed his technical difficulties sign in front of the camera. You could still hear though._

" Pfffffffffttt!" Toon Link tried to conceal his laughter further. A hand appeared from the large hole in the deck, followed by a sword.

"GREAT AETHER!" bellowed Ike again in an attempt to resurface from the pit of the suspicious hole. This failed and he plummeted back down. Finally he got back up, but not before Toon Link had filled a large whiteboard with tally marks (strokes /).

_Toon Link lifted the technical difficulties sign and the show went on. Suddenly the salmon came back to life and flopped off. Ike continued to talk through his show and fail, like a jellyfish trying to climb a tree (No offence any jellyfish out there. I like jellyfish. also, sorry, but I'm a little bit too lazy at the moment to write the whole rest of the show-note continued at the bottom)._

_Ike's result was a very charred table of, well, food._

**-Smash Mansion Main Hall 17:00 (5:00)**

"Now, Ganondorf, more streamers over there, Pit! Not too many balloons! Dark Pit! Don't you dare leave a single crease in the table cloth! Ok now Pit, Dark Pit you have to be extra careful with those glasses. Now Ganondorf if you could only fetch the paper plates and cups from over there and put them there. Waaaaaait a little more to the left, no not that left the other left, NO RIGHT! UGH DO I HAVE TO COME OVER AND DO IT MYSELF?!" ordered Marth as he sipped a cup of tea. Ganondorf glared at Marth.

"If you're going to be so bossy princess then why don't you come and do it?" muttered Ganondorf under his breath.

"Oh I'd love to Ganondorf but you see I got a paper cut yesterday and I would hate for it to open up again" fretted Marth.

"Oooooooohhhh Villager, this is gonna be so much fun! I didn't even think of that and yet it's so simple, although, we'll need some cleaning supplies ." giggled Toon Link

"Uhuh" replied Villager giggling also.

"Ness, did we get everyone?" yawned Lucas

"Yup" yawned Ness in reply, the two psychics high-fived each other before walking back to their shared room.

**18:00 (6:00p.m) the next day**

**"**Sooooo Link want to go get dinner now?" asked Zelda whom had been talking to Link about various things for the past half hour.

"Sure," replied Link getting up and continuing to chat with Zelda as they walked off towards the Main Hall.

O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_

"Anyway, so-**OOF!**" exclaimed Link as he walked into a door. Zelda helped him up and opened the door to the Main Hall, which was completely dark.

...

**POP!**

"Oops." came a whisper

...

"SURPRISE!" yelled everyone in unison as party poppers went off "HAPPY BIRTHDAY LINK!"

Link looked overwhelmed. The Main Hall was decorated with balloons, streamers and even more balloons, there was a large buffet which looked oddly familiar, not to mention charred and there was a large mound of presents at the back of the room.

**SLAM!**

"SORRY I'M LATE EVERYONE BUT I HAVE CAKE!" shouted Ike as he proudly held up what may as well be a UFO, scratch the flying part, his so-called cake was charred and about as impressive as a limestone pebble in a museum of limestone pebbles.

..."Awkward" chimed Toon Link

Suddenly, Peach wheeled in a magnificently decorated six-tiered (layered) cake which may as well have been as tall as Link himself. Lucas cued the music and the party commenced.

"So Link, 21 today eh?" congratulated Roy as he sipped some punch

"Haha, yeah" replied Link.

**1 hour later**

The morale of the party stayed lively and the evening continued.

"Who wants cake?" hollered Peach, a crowd of brawlers instantly surrounded her "NUH UH UH, where are your manners? Besides, birthday boy first, and have any of you washed your hands?" chastised Peach the crowd of brawlers immediatley dispersed, but was back as quickly as it had disappeared. Peach handed out cake, starting with Link.

**SPLAT!**

A large mass of 'food' from the buffet went flying and hit Villager in the face, another blob of food went flying again and this time hit Louie the pikmin.

"FOOD FIGHT" cried Toon Link, and food started flying back and forth between various brawlers, landing either on someone or the ground, happy screams and shouts muffled together and filled the room. It continued on until-

**SPLAT!**

A blob of food suddenly hit Peach in the face knocking her backwards. Everyone gasped and the room went silent...Peach got up, walked over to the buffet, she picked up a plate of food and hurled it across the room, landing a direct hit on Ganondorf and his pride. Laughs and cheers errupted and the food fight commenced again.

"Whew! That was an amazing party!" exclaimed Link stretching as he reached his dorm, caked (hint hint) from head to toe in food.

"LINK, YOU DIDN'T WAKE ME UP, AND THERE WAS A PARTY?!" gasped Navi as she flew out of wherever she hides

"Uhhhhhh, well, GOODNIGHT NAVI SEE YA TOMORROW!" exclaimed Link stuffing Navi into a bottle.

**Wow that felt like a really long chapter, anyway, apologies for not updating! I was being a lazy butt and I had no inspiration anyway I hope you enjoyed the chapter, I know it wasn't really an episode of Ike's show and wasn't really centered at all on Ike, but it was fun to write *yawn* ok so that's about it, please comment because I love to hear feedback, until next time!**

**Continued note from earlier: anyway I'm a bit too lazy at the moment to write the whole rest of the show, if you want me to write it out let me know and I might later, give me a few ideas if you want and maybe I'll use them :) )**

**One last thing, I would like to say thank you to Airlit City for the idea of the food fight!**


	5. Chapter 5

Ike's Cooking show

**Smash Mansion-Main Entrance (portal) -11:00 a.m, Sunday**

Peach stood and stared eagerly with a cup of coffee at the purple swirling portal, as she had been for the past 5 hours, forty minutes and 50 seconds, almost in some sort of trance. It had taken absolutely ages and a ridiculous amount of reasoning to convince Master Hand to let her cousin, Princess Daisy of Sarasaland (who currently was in the Mushroom Kingdom), otherwise known to her as Daisy, be allowed visit for the week and it was vital (in her view) to be there to greet her.

"Hey, Peach, you ok?" asked Zelda in a mildly concerned voice " You know, you've been standing there staring since about 3:00 a.m, and Daisy isn't coming until 2."

"ARE YOU QUESTIONING MY DECISIONS?" hissed Peach slamming her cup of coffee onto the saucer. Zelda raised her hands in surrender and uttered a 'No,' before walking out of Peach's gaze rather cautiously. Honestly, she could be scary when she was angry.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

"LAAA LA LA LAAAAAAAAAAA" sang Ike happily as he finished off yet another Hawt Pocket (is that the correct spelling of 'hawt pocket' or is it spelled normally like 'h-o-t?' I honestly don't know, feel free to correct me) "Ok! Now I just need to eat forty more and I will smash my record! (Which currently stood at 81. No pun intended?)

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

Villager face palmed as he watched Toon Link chase a pig around the courtyard trying to catch it, like he had been for the past day. The poor pig looked just as exhausted as Toon Link did.

"WE *pant* WERE MEANT TO BE SOUL MATES! NO! WE ARE SOUL MATES! LOVE MEEEE!" shouted Toon Link currently a bit sleep deprived and rather hungry, but nonetheless determined...and obsessed...with pigs.

-Oink!

Villager looked down and saw a small pig staring up at him, he bent down and pet the pig gently, it then affectionately jumped into his arms. Villager got an idea and rooted in his ridiculously spacious pocket with one hand and pulled out a turnip, the pig ate it happily while Villager just stood there and held it.

The scene didn't escape Toon Link's eyes though he simply stared in awe as the Villager bonded with the creature.

"OH COME ON!" yelled Toon Link.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

Link stared at the screen with a 'seriously? This is has got to be literally the dumbest thing ever,' type of expression, as he watched Pit adventure with his virtual self through the Silent Realm of Lanayru Desert, he was on his 70th attempt with little patience left. Link honestly didn't know how Pit had come into contact with the game.

Dark Pit and Marth were also present both commenting on the game and actively conversing with Link and Pit.

...

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You failed -HAHAHAHA!- again!" exclaimed Link gasping for air, as Pit rage-quitted. Pit stormed out of the room with Link following, leaving Marth and Dark Pit behind. Alone, in an awkward silence.

"Sooooooo...," started Marth

"..."

"Yeahhh...ok bye," Marth darted for the door and left.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

"Hey Dad! Look, my tooth fell out!" said Bowser Jr. proudly showing his father the pointed tooth and the gap in his teeth.

"Mhm" replied Bowser clipping the toe claws (?) absentmindedly

"Hey, Dad. Dad. Dad! DAD! Ugh never mind, maybe Miss Zelda will be have some sort of reaction," Bowser Jr. trudged off to find someone else to show his tooth to.

"What's your yellow blob of lard so happy about?" questioned Ganondorf

"What?" replied Bowser standing up

"I said-"

"OH I HEARD WHAT WHAT YOU SAID. ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT MY SON IS FAT?!"

"Well he is,"

"Well, now that I think of it, he has actually put on a few pounds recently, must stop giving him- HEY! IF YOUR GONNA CALL MY SON FAT, YOU'RE GON' HAVE TO GET THROUGH ME FIRST, WARTHOG!"

"Oh, if THAT'S how you're going to be then, You, me, here, now,"

"YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS?!"

"COME AT ME!"

Bowser was going to lunge but then thought of a smart plan, he picked up one of his toe-claw clippings and handed it to Ganondorf.

"What the-"

"You said you wanted a piece of me, so there you go, merry Christmas" Bowser walked out of the room casually.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

"-and so you see, the Tooth-Koopa is going to come and collect it and I'll get a coin!" grinned Bowser Jr.

"Well that's very nice then, now, why don't you go and bug -*ahem* tell someone else your...wonderful...news?" said Zelda trying not to sound extremely disinterested.

"OK!" with that Bowser Jr. ran off.

Thank Godess.

The Smashers had plenty of time on their hands since Master Hand had issued a one-week break after a month of serious brawling and training, so each of them had been spending time doing numerous hobbies and activities, but that is for another story.

**-Smash Mansion-Main Entrance Portal- 2:00 p.m**

Peach still stood at the portal waiting. Finally the portal began to glow and a figure emerged it was- Captain Falcon...

"ARGH! NO. YOU'RE MEANT TO BE DAISY!" exclaimed Peach.

"What now?" was Captain Falcon's reply

"OUT OF THE WAY," Peach shoved Captain Falcon to the side as the portal once again glowed and finally Daisy emerged.

"Daisy! Hi, I'm so happy your here!" squealed Peach

"Hello Peach! Whoo! That is a crazy way to go somewhere!" exclaimed Daisy gesturing to the portal," uhh is he...dead?"

"Uhhh, no, I don't think so. Oh well you get used to travelling by portal, anyway come on I'll show your room and then I'll give you a tour!" Peach began to walk off, "At least I hope he's not."

"Hey Peach, I hope it isn't a bother but I brought Fifi, she doesn't like being alone."

-WOOF WOOF! A large Chain-Chomp appeared behind Daisy, just about squeezing through the portal, Peach looked a bit surprised

"Oh, not a bother, just, let her rest outside. In my garden." urged Peach.

"Sure thing! -Wait you have a garden here? Let's get going then!" replied Daisy before she ran off down the hall.

**-Later that evening-**

"Ok so for this episode I'll definitely have to do that, *gasp* I should get some of them!"

Ike wrote down his ideas and ran off to dinner.

**...**

"Ok everyone, we have a visitor for the week, Princess Daisy of Sarasaland," Master Hand gestured to one of the tables and some heads turned, Daisy waved before Master Hand continued, "Please make her feel welcome."

Daisy received a round of 'Hi's, Hello's, Hey's' from a majority of the present brawlers.

When Daisy retreated to her room/Peach and Zelda's shared bedroom she was greeted by a small red creature, with a leaf sprouting from its head,

"Aww, ain't you just adorable? Hey little fella" she whispered bending down and letting it hop on to her hand, Louie suddenly saw her crown and lunged for it, successfully grabbing it from her hair. After examining it closely he decided to try it on, it didn't quite fit though so it fell over his eyes and the rest of him, Daisy chuckled and gently took her crown back.

"Ah, I see you've met Louie," said Peach shutting the door after walking into the room

Suddenly a fat man with purple dungarees that looked like they were about to burst, burst into the room, Louie scrambled into Daisy's hair. Peach took a note to find an air freshner later.

"Have you seen a short thing, red, with a leaf on its head, useful to use as a slave?" he barked.

"Oh, no, I don't know what you're talking about," lied Daisy.

"Wario, be a darling, get your fat being out of our presence," said Peach bluntly

Wario eyed her and Peach suspiciously before leaving. Louie scurried out the door after he left.

**\- Smash Mansion-Main Hall 12:55 p.m (5 minutes until Ike's Cooking Show)**

"-and so all I have to do is his make-up and hair, but he never stays still," finished Peach, Daisy nodded. Suddenly, Toon Link ran up to them out of breath,

"Have you *pant* seen Ike?"

"No, what time is it?" replied Peach.

"12:56"

-**SLAM!**

Ike walked in as cool as a cucumber but it was quickly interrupted,

"IKE GREIL. What is your excuse this time!?"barked Peach

"Why are you yelling at me? I'm on time." countered Ike

"Get your assets into that dressing room." ordered Peach.

"No- wait a minute. Who is that?" said Ike pointing to Daisy

"IKE. It's rude to point, anyway, Ike, Daisy, Daisy, this unmannerly ape before you is Ike,"

"WHAT DID YOU-"

"Anyway, she's here to spectate, while I deal with you." interrupted Peach. Peach had told Daisy about the show, and Daisy had insisted upon coming to see what it was all about.

**...**

After a huge fuss Ike was ready. *celebration*

"3-2-1 going live"

_"Hel-lo once again dear view_ers, _welcome back to Ike's Cooking Show, now today we're going to do something a little bit different, WE are going to bake a cake, a Victoria Sandwich cake, to be precise, did you SEE the marvellous cake I made for my dear friend, old Linky-poo's birthday? Wasn't it just AMA-ZING? It took simply forever, don't worry, no need to compliment me, I know it was fabulous. So, let's get ready." _

_Ike tied his usual apron and washed his hands._

_"Oh and for ye who can't cook, my guide is the simplest out there _(NO OFFENSE. ANYONE. Oh, and I know you'll know better than to follow this to bake a Victoria Sandwich but, DO NOT FOLLOW THIS GUIDE)_anyway, you will need; Sugar, butter, eggs, flour, baking powder and milk, for the filling you will need; butter, icing sugar and strawberry/raspberry jam. Now, let's get started. This next bit is simple, the preparation of the cake, just put the butter and sugar into a bowl and mix them up."_

_Ike, being the 'culinary genius' threw the stick of butter and the bag of flour into a bowl and hastily mixed them with an electric beater/whisk_

_"Now crack the eggs, all at once, and add them, into the mixture, then beat them with an electric beater." Ike, being the (sarcasm) professional that he is, did this without looking, and the eggshells got mixed in, once Ike was finished torturing the now curdled batter he flung a cake tin with petrified cake mix in it into the oven._

_"HOLD IT!" came a voice "Stop. Stop. Stop everything."_

_Toon Link averted the camera's view to the origin of the voice, aka Daisy._

_"In all my days I have __**never**__ seen someone so carelessly 'bake' a cake. On top of that THE BATTER WAS CURDLED! NO CURDLED CAKE MIX WILL ESCAPE ME!" she finished darkly._

_"Well then if you're so good, why don't you come over here and make a cake yourself?" countered Ike._

_"WELL, DON'T MIND IF I DO." Daisy was about to march from her seat, when Peach quickly ran from somewhere and hit Ike with her frying pan, knocking him out._

_"Ike. No. Bad."_

_Daisy had made her way to the stage and had proceeded to wash her hands and tie on a floral print apron._

_"Well, all you people who are watching this, I've never been on T.V, but I am going to show you how to make a real Victoria sandwich. With the help of the one and only, lovely Peach."_

_Peach had no objections and tied on a white apron._

_"Now, we need eggs, butter, sugar, flour and raspberry or strawberry jam"_

_Daisy and Peach continued for the next while to bake a magnificent cake. When they were done they put it on a plate and to finish off they drew their frying pans (like how you draw a sword) and held them up, confetti showered down on them from nowhere and with that Toon Link stopped the cameras._

Toon Link could only marvel at the sight before him, the plump, airy, spongy delicious goodness of a perfect cake. He could feel himself drooling. Peach and Daisy saw him drooling and brought the cake over to him, the blonde graciously accepted it and scurried off to find his soul-mate. The two princesses only stared disapprovingly.

**WOOF WOOF!**

There was suddenly the familiar sound of a chain chomp, Fi-Fi burst through the wall, smashing it. It was around this time that Ike was beginning to recover from the frying pans.

Fi-fi, being the curious chain chomp she was, sent over to see Ike, pretty much wiping out the front unit. As she turned to return to Daisy her chain got caught on part of Ike, who was now being dragged along for a rather bumpy and painful ride. Fi-fi started panicking and in her panic she knocked Ike out again and dragged him out the door.

**The following Saturday**

Well, the rest of the week had been a bit of a mess, Daisy's chain-chomp rampaging daily causing a deal of damage to the mansion and knocking out several smashers more than once, this included Shulk, Ike, Luigi, Mario and Link.

"Aww, goodbye Daisy, I'll miss you," sighed Peach hugging her cousin.

"Don't worry about me Peach, I'll be back to visit again, just maybe I won't bring Fi-fi" Daisy mumbled the last part, "Oh and make sure that um, Captain Falcon doesn't follow me."

"Ok," replied Peach understandingly, Captain Falcon had been bugging her cousin all week. With that Daisy stepped into the portal followed by her chain chomp, which strained the portal again.

"Nooo! My sweet, don't leave me with these fools!" cried Captain Falcon, zooming down the hallway in his Blue Falcon, damaging the walls in the process. Peach took out her golf club and swiftly proceeded to crack the windscreen of the Blue Falcon, at which Captain Falcon quickly halted, threw himself on to the floor and threw a fit.

Peach only shook her head and walked off to retrieve her phone to text Daisy.

**Ok, I'm:**

**A. Not dead**

**B. Extremely sorry **

**C. Not very proud of this chapter, in any way.**

**I am very sorry about the ENORMOUS break between my last update and this one, to which sorry doesn't really cut it, I have been really wrapped up in a lot of things lately and the other hand I have been lazy, like, really lazy, again, sorry. Also, my creative drive wasn't exactly exploding with motivation to write this. So today (or night where I am) I forced myself to write this. The whole quality if this wasn't great, I know. Also this became more slice-of-life than I intended.**

**So, again, sorry about all of this, thank you to everyone who has or will taken/take the time to give me feedback (especially after this extremely long period of inactivity.) I intend to have one last chapter to this. I hope I can motivate myself to start Ghirahim vlogs, finish my weak tribute to Ness x Lucas and start a (what may be a series of) story/stories with one of my oc's, although there will be no character x oc romance if I indeed to get around to writing it, I have strictly vowed to myself that I will not write oc x character romance since I am not really a hypocrite. Anyway, I hope you may have liked this just a little bit, feel free to give me feedback as well as comments. One last thing, I might change my pen name in the near future, I'll write that in my autobiography.**

**Thanks for reading! -BlackRoseSpirit**


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